Letters from the inside
by Aertyn - Fluff Monster
Summary: A series of letters written between Jack and Sam, about there developing relationship. I really am not good at summaries. Anyway, please R&R. Chapter 14 now uploaded.
1. Confession

**Disclaimer: Stargate not owned by me.**

**Rating: K for this chapter.**

**Spoilers: Vague reference to when Daniel dies the first time.**

**Okay, I went away and thought about it...and realised that I can actually TAKE this somewhere...so...I really hope you like it, because I was going to struggle to write goodbye letters from them...I cried enough writing this one as it was :P.**

**Please Review. **

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Carter…oh for crying out loud this is a letter…Sam,

I never imagined I'd be saying goodbye like this. I was at least hoping that when that time came (and lets be honest here, I was hoping this time would never come) I'd at least be able to hold you in my arms, kiss your forehead and to finally, finally tell you how I feel.

Though, it doesn't take a genius to figure out how I feel, and that's exactly what you are. A genius, so unless someone has hit you over the head repeatedly with a stupid stick I think you already know how I feel. I'll tell you anyway. I love you Sam. And not the soppy romance love that they show in movies, but the kind of love that…let me start again.

I love your smile. I love your eyes (god, you had no idea how I could get lost in those eyes). I love your laugh. And though I always told you not to do it, I loved it when you giggled. I guess that's why I told you not to do it, my pulse would shoot of the scale whenever you did it. I love your brains, and even though I barely understand a word of it, I loved how you loved it. I love how your eyes would light up and would dance as you talked about whatever doohickey you were currently tinkering with. I love you for being a brilliant soldier. I love you for being a terrible cook. I love you. I love everything you have been, everything you are, and everything you will be, Sam.

Thinking back, I think I fell in love with you when you waltzed into that briefing room all those years ago. You waltzed into my heart as well Sam. You stamped your name on it with Indian Ink, and nothing get's that stuff out (as we found out with Daniel's one of a kind Navajo rug when we packed up his apartment the first time he died…boy was he pissed when he came back). Nothing managed to scrub your name of my heart. If anything, over the years it got darker and more deeply embedded. Not only was it stamped on my heart, but it was coursing through my veins…God Sam. You brought me back to life. I was cold inside for a long time before that. You walked into that room and it was like someone had lit it with a 10,000 watt bulb, you warmed me up. You made me want to live again Sam. And I thought no-one would be able to do that.

That's the only reason why I kept fighting the fight, hoping that one day we would get our chance to be Jack and Sam. And not General and Colonel. Or sir and Carter. Just…us. I just wanted to give us a chance at some stage. And I just…never thought it'd take this long to do…and that we wouldn't get our chance.

But you know? I don't regret much Sam. I've seen and done more in the past few years that I ever thought was humanly possible, and this time I got to do it with the women I love by my side every step of the way. Seeing and experiencing all the wonders that we saw and experience together. It was an honour and privilege to serve with you by my side. I could never have asked for a better 2IC. For a better friend. For a better something that we never got the chance to be.

I want you to promise me something Sam. Don't mourn for me. I lived an incredible life. I wouldn't trade it for anything…wouldn't change a thing. Even though some horrible stuff happened, you were there to help pick up the pieces. You made it all worth it for me. Just seeing that smile of yours made it all worth while.

Forever yours,

Jack

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**Next Chapter will be up momentarily. Please review...chapters do get better and less depressing after this one. **


	2. Explanation

**Disclaimer: Stargate not owned by me, sadly.**

**Rating: T - really mild swearing...a little violence (does spanner throwing count as violence?)**

**Spoliers: A hundred days, reference to Divide and Conquer (the whole, lets keep this in the room thing)**

**Hope you like, please review.**

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General…Jack, 

First off, I hope your head isn't too badly hurt, I am sorry about throwing that spanner at you, But I really did expect you to duck, after all you are special ops trained…I really did think you had better reflexes.

Secondly, I'd like to explain why I threw that spanner at you. I found your letter. The one on your desk. The one with my name on it. And it wasn't a military letter. No Colonel Carter. Not even Carter. It was addressed to me. Sam. And I knew…know, it was wrong for me to read it, but it was addressed to me. In all fairness, can you really blame me I am a scientist by nature, therefore am very curious about these things.

As I read your words, my hands were trembling, my heart was pounding and my palms were so sweaty I don't know how I did smudge the ink. Here, finally, was the proof of how you felt about me. And it scared me to death Jack. I know…do, know how you feel about me. I can feel it emanating off you in waves. But you can block waves out, a jamming signal if you will, and after all these I have learnt to block those waves out pretty damn well. Until 4 days ago. When I found your letter. The generator for that shield blew up. And there was no way I was going to be able to fix it, I may be good at fixing things, but I'm not that good. Jack, I can't block that signal out anymore. And the truth is…I don't want to block it out anymore. I want to let it wash over me. I want to infuse it with my senses. I want. Jack.

I was petrified Jack. I folded that letter back, placed it back in the envelope and put it back on your desk. And then I ran. To my sanctuary. And then I dismantled the naquadah reactor that I've been building for the past 4 months. And after I'd undone 4 months work in 20 minutes I set about testing the integrity of the replicator chips. Of course everyone heard the sledgehammer against the concrete. And of course you were the one that had to walk in. And of course, I'm not stupid enough to throw a sledgehammer at someone, so of course I sent the next best thing…a spanner. I really did think you would duck Jack. And now it's been 4 days. And no-one has been near my lab since that night. People skirt around me in the corridors,. When I walk into the commissary conversation dies on there lips and they glance around, avoiding contact with me…as if meeting my eyes will incite me into another spanner throwing fit.

So, that's why I'm here now, at 3am typing up my 4th draft of this letter. Because, just like you, I feel that you should know how I feel. I care about you…a lot more than I'm sposed too. And a lot more than I ever thought I would about anyone. A lot more than I ever thought capable. It's not just about caring Jack. It's about…respecting you…who you are, who you can be. It's about love Jack. When I'm in the same room as you it feels like we are the only two people on the planet. And if it weren't were cameras, regs and other people (oh my!) we would have consummated this relationship a long time ago. And if it weren't for cameras, regs and other people we would have walked down that aisle a long time ago. Yes Jack. Aisle. Wedding. Marriage. Of yes, I care about you a lot more than I'm sposed too. I love you Jack. I realized it you were on Edorra, that my feelings for you weren't exactly…professional in nature. I got you home. And I locked it in a room, the same room that everything went into. That room must be bulging at the seams by now. Somethings gotta give eventually Jack. We just can't keep sweeping it under the rug and cramming it into that room. One day we are going to open that door and everything is going to come tumbling out.

And that day is today. I'm taking it out of that room Jack. I'm taking everything out, and then I'm going to blow that room up( because we all know how much I enjoy blowing things up!) so that nothing can go back into that room. I don't ever want anything to go back into that room Jack. Not ever.

All you have to do is tell me what you want Jack. I'll quit the Air Force. I can't quit the SGC, but we can work around that. General Hammond often suggested that I am irreplaceable for the program. They could hire me back as civilian. I'll do that for you Jack. I care about you that much.

This is our chance Jack. It's out of the room. It's hanging out there…within our reach. We just have to reach out and take it. I am willing to do that…I want our chance, because, God (the non-glowy eyed type) we've sacrificed enough…we deserve our chance to be happy Jack. And when I think of happiness, I think of you…and waking up with your arms wrapped around me.

Love,  
Sam

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**Hopefully Chapter 3 should be up tonight...and Chapter 4, as I wrote those during my Literature lecture today (hey...this is literature...it's kinda related to the subject...not really...) It's just getting around to typing them up :)**


	3. Spanners and Ducking

**Disclaimer: I'm getting sick of writing this, it's not owned by me.**

**Rating: K**

**Spoiler: Nothing**

**As always, reviews would be nice, as I would love to know what people think of this story.**

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Sam,

My head is fine. Doc said I wont even have a scar. He did want to know how I got it though. Blamed Teal'c and a wayward blow during a sparring match. Though I think everyone on base knows about your spanner throwing fit. But really Sam, I do understand. I want to take it out of the room as well. I have long regretted agreeing to keep it in the room in the first place. I did want to open that door Sam, but you had the key. You've always had the key.

And my ducking capabilities are just fine thank you very much. I wasn't expecting my 2IC to throw a spanner at me. It's all context based Sam, if we had have been on a planet being attacked by Jaffa and you decided to throw a spanner at me, I would have been able to duck without a problem…but since we were on Earth, not being attacked by Jaffa and all I did was walk into your lab to investigate the heavy banging sound and slightly hysterical screams, I was not expecting to have a spanner thrown at me. So, next time you want to throw a spanner (or any other object) at least inform me in a non-dire circumstance situation so that I can prepare to use my excellent ducking capabilities and live up to your lofty expectations.

And I'm glad my letter caused your generator to blow up Sam. I don't want you to block it out anymore either, frankly it was getting harder to get you to crack that smile that makes my knees wobble and my heart to skip a beat. Open it up Sam. Open that God-damned door to that dreaded room. Give me a date and a time and I'll be there to help you clean all that junk out.

You dismantled the Naquadah reactor? Ahh crap…I just told Area 51 that you were almost done with it. You should have heard the excited gasps coming down that line. Sam, it took all my strength not to laugh, I'll have to ring them back and break the bad news. I promise to be gentle with all your science buddies (okay, I wont try that hard, after all I do need to get some enjoyment out of this). Back. Decided to do a video conference call. That way I could not only hear there reactions, but I can also see there reactions. It was priceless…especially when Glasses Guy dropped his coffee on the keyboard, causing the computer to short circuit and to burst into flames. A copy of the tape has been enclosed with the letter for your enjoyment. It will also be shown at the SGC video night. Hey…us soldiers need to get our kicks over something and Daniel has been accident free for…2 weeks 3 days now….do paper cuts count?

Wedding? Marriage? Sam that's…wow. I sort of suspected you liked me more than you let on. I just didn't realize how much. I would never ask you to quit the Air Force Sam. I care too much about to ask you to do that. That decision is up to you. But whether you retire or no, we will find a way to be together (if it comes down to, I'll retire, you can so far in your career Sam, You are nearly a full bird Colonel and you haven't even hit 40 yet. Do you know how rare that is?) But, whatever Sam, we will be together. Now that room has been opened, I can't forget Sam. I won't forget. I refuse to forget that it's been opened.

And you're right, we've given enough to this program, and to this planet, I think we earned a favour or two from the President really. After all, if it weren't for us there would be no Earth.. Hang on, I'm going to call him now, ask him about relaxing the rules.

He said yes.

Jack.

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**Hopefully next chapter will be up soon as well...I'm on a roll tonight :) **


	4. Little Letters

**Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate, though one wishes one did, especially one person called 'Jack O'Neill.' -stares wistfully into the distance-**

**Rating: M. Mention of Sex.**

**Spoiler: None.**

**Hope you enjoy Chapter 4, this is a few little letters combined into one chapter, as I really didn't see the point of having a 25 word chapter...**

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, I'm glad people seem to be enjoying this story, as I am having a blast writing them (And I haven't forgotten about HLA...I'll try and do some tomorrow, but I have a 2500 word Sociology essay due in on Monday...)**

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Jack,  
Level 26. Storage room 6. 0800 hours.

Sam  
PS. Video was priceless. Am never going to let them live it down.

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Sam,  
See you soon

Jack

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Jack,  
Holy Hannah, I can't believe we just did that! On base! In one of my storage rooms. I do agree through, next time we should find a bed, we are definitely too old for wall sex, I was a tad worried at one stage that your knees were going to give out on us.

I can't believe we waited that long to do this Jack…it….you were incredible. I honestly never thought it possible to feel like that.

But….umm, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I think we need to slow down, yeah the sex was great…okay, absolutely mind blowing and earth shattering, but if we do that again we are going to kill each other, and I have grown rather fond of you.

Want to go out tonight? Our first date, there's that little Italian place two blocks from my house, it's really nice.

Love,  
Sam

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Sam,  
Slowing down is good, Doc wants to know why I'm hobbling around like an 80 year old. Poor Teal'c is getting the blame for this as well, will really have to make it up to him, you should hear the tirade that Doc is launching at him right now about sparring with ahh…hang on, did he just say 'old man'?

He did! Bastard. Have to go straighten him out.

Back…well, it was a sort of success of straightening him out. I launched a tirade (ohh, you gotta love when I do them!) about how I'm not old, and he looked all fearful until I started limping out of the infirmary, which caused him to burst into laughter. I gave myself an A+ for the tirade but a D for the exit, really must work on them.

Dinner sounds great, I'll pick you up at 1800 hours?

Love,  
Jack

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Jack,  
Poor Teal'c, I guess I'll have to make it up to him as well, after all, I was the one that threw the spanner at you and I did kind of…jump you in the storage room. 8 years of repressed feelings you know.

And 1800 is perfect Jack. Can you do me a favour…can you wear your dress blues? I know you don't like them, but uhh, I don't think you see how…sexy you are in your dress blues.

Boy, are we going to have some questions fired at us tomorrow, what with me leaving the base before…oh, just with me leaving the base period.

Your Sam.

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**Hope you enjoyed it, please review. And now I'm going to let my happy pill (painkiller) win and succumb to sleep, considering it's 2am and I've had a grand total of 8 hours sleep in 3 days. **


	5. Illegal Dress

**Disclaimer: I think you guys know the drill by now.**

**Rating: T**

**Spoiler: None**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter, the reviews I've gotten so far for this story are great, keep 'em coming, please. And Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, it really does mean a lot when people tell you that they like what you are writing.**

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Sam,Dinner was incredible. But God was that dress LEGAL! The poor waiter just about had a heart attack when you walked in. I guess my reaction was somewhat similar, you shouldn't do that to an old man Sam. It's not fair if I end up having a heart attack on our first date. And somehow, I think you knew the reaction you'd get, judging by that smile you had plastered across your face when you opened the door. Did I really look like a fish? Just standing there and opening and closing my mouth like an idiot.

Here I am, old, beaten up soldier with so many skeletons in his closet he could open his own cemetery. And I was going out on a date with the most brilliant mind on the planet. Not to mention, one of the most beautiful. I think I was too speechless to say it, but she was breathtaking. Add to this that that mind was also attached to my best friend. The women that I love. God, I'm a lucky bastard. Oh, did I mention that this intelligent, beautiful women, with legs that stretch on for miles, a smile that can brighten up my day, eyes that suck you in and hold you there for all eternity…is you.

You know, I can't actually remember much of the meal, all I remember is being in total shock that I was actually there. You were there. We were there. FINALLY! And…I can't remember ever seeing you like that. So free, so open in your emotions, it was incredibly humbling Sam.

But you know what the best part of the whole night was? Standing on your front porch, and hearing those three little words escape from your lips. That made my night. My entire day. Heck, my entire life! It took a heck of a lot of restraint to just do the gentlemanly thing, considering what we had done earlier that day, but this was our first date. So, kissing you gently on the lips, and whispering back those words that I have longed to say. I left you. You smiled and understood, I'm taking it slow Sam. I'm treating you how you deserve to be treated. A treasure (granted a super smart treasure who can blow up suns), as something worth worshiping and honouring. I felt like I used you earlier, it wasn't how I wanted our first time to be. And I'm going to make it up to you.

Forever Yours,  
Jack

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**I was supposed to be working this afternoon, but my shift got cancelled, so I will hopefully be able to get another chapter written. **


	6. Dinner and Roses

**Disclaimer: Stargate has never been owned by me (and lets face it, it probably will never be owned by me either) I make no money from writing these.**

**Rating: T**

**Spoiler: Children of the Gods, Window of Opportunity, Metamorphosis, The Lost City Part 2 (Holy heck, I didn't even have to look them up, I knew 'em off by heart!)**

**Hope you enjoy "Dinner and Roses", I have fun writing it...granted not as much as some previous chapters, but still, fun. Oh, and thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter, I'm glad you all enjoyed it.  
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Jack,

I'm glad the dress had the desired effect. Been saving it for a special occasion. What's more special than the first date with the man of my dreams?

And yes, you did look like a fish. A very sexy fish, but still…a fish.

And your one to talk, thanks for wearing the dress blues Jack. I know you don't like them…but you have no idea what wearing them does to me. Okay, yes it was a little bit of 'hey, look everyone my dates a General' thing, but it was also 'Holy Hannah this man is gorgeous in dress blues!'. During that entire briefing, you know, before the second Abydos mission. I'm fairly sure I was drooling, could not take my eyes off you. As Janet once said 'serious eye candy.'

And I do wish you would stop putting yourself down Jack. You are gorgeous…a 10 on the hunk-o-meter (That was Cassie, she mentioned that about 6 months ago...I stammered, blushed and then agreed, then swore her to secrecy). You are smarter than you think. You don't make General if you don't have brains. And you seem to forget that I know you can speak Russian, German, and Latin. No-one speaks 3 other languages if they are dumb. Jack, sometimes I think you forget how closely I worked with you, I saw the real you. The intelligent you. You hide it behind your sarcastic comments and that goofy grin, but I know you're smart. Maybe not book smart…but…gut instinct smart. And, you were smart enough to fall in love with me, now that's brains because your heart is safe with me.

You've saved the world just as many times as I have, and…if you hadn't have been waiting at the other end of that wormhole, saving Earth would not have been worth it. Really? My eyes suck you in? Have I ever mentioned that brown is my favorite colour? And not just any colour brown, but a dark chocolate brown that I've only ever seen twice, on F5T-889 (less said of that the better really) and on you. Your eyes have the same magic for me Jack, I was lost in them after that first briefing. You kept catching me staring at you, truth is I couldn't drag my eyes away from yours. Over the years I learnt to make it a little less obvious, but I still stared.

And dinner was great, I never knew you could dance, guess that's one of the few things I don't know about you. It was heaven Jack, being in your arms. Safe. Loved. Wanted. Needed. I don't think I'll ever be able to erase this grin off my face after that last song when you dipped me into a kiss, granted the wolf whistles were a little embarrassing. Somehow I get the feeling that you've done that before, you seemed to know exactly what you were doing.

And it was so liberating to finally say those words, after 8 years I never thought I would be able to actually say them, to your face at least. I can't even count how many times I whispered those words in my head, how many times they were so close to escaping. I nearly said it in Nirrti's prison, I nearly said it in Antarctica after we defeated Anubis' army. That's why I fought so hard to get you back. And when you did get back, I chickened out. I shut that into the room as well. We could have had months…years of this. We are just too damn stubborn for our own good sometimes. And you may have just kissed me gently, but you left me with a very happy feeling. That kiss said more to me than words ever could. You treat me like something special, and not because I'm just a woman (like with Pete…he thought I was breakable, a delicate piece of china that needed to be wrapped in bubble wrap at all times, it was infuriating!), but because you respect me, because you care about me, because you truly know me. You know who I am, and you love me in spite of that. I feel so lucky to be loved by a man as amazing as you. And don't you dare deny it Jack. Because you ARE amazing whether you want to admit it or not. It's the truth.

And you didn't use me, it was just us finally giving in after 8 years, I kind of expected it to be like that. Explosive. You don't have to make anything up to me. I wanted that to happen Jack. Why the heck would I ask you to come to a storage room where only two people on base have access too (me and you) if I didn't want that to happen?

I have to ask, how on earth did you get the 4 dozen roses into my lab without me noticing? I was only out of the lab for about 20 minutes this morning with Daniel…he knows doesn't he? Diversionary tactic. Well, that also explains the grin on his face this morning. Kept asking him if he had slept with a coat hanger in his mouth his grin was that wide. Plus, I can kick your ass, if I hadn't have wanted it, I could have, what with you being a...what did Doc call you again? Oh, right, Old man.

Thank you, they are beautiful, can't get a minutes work done now, I keep breaking off and staring at them with a wistful smile on my face.

Love,  
Sam

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**Hope you enjoyed it, please review. Now I'm off to panic about my Sociology essay, because I sat down to start writing it yesterday and I've lost the booklet that has the essay questions in it. In other words. I'm screwed. **


	7. Drooling and time loops

**Disclaimer: Stargate not owned by me.**

**Rating: K**

**Spoilers: Window of Opportunity**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter, I'm spoiling you guys tonight, two chapters in a day. Hope you like! **

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Sam,

You are a witch. Glad you saved it for last night though, really glad. Man of you're dreams…you dream about me? You'll have to share some one of these days.

Oh great, my girlfriends first impression of me on our first date is of me looking like a fish.

I got Captain Doctor Samantha Carter drooling by wearing nothing more than my dress blues? And 8 years later, I can Lieutenant Colonel Doctor Samantha Carter to drool over me in my dress blues. Talk about ego building Sam. Note to self: Wear Dress blues more often.

The hunk-o-meter? I'm going to have to have a serious talk to Cassie about this…if she has a hunk-o-meter it means she's looking at guys, and she's still a little girl. Too young to be looking at guys. She needs to be concentrating on college. Not guys. Definitely not. How did you know that I can speak Russian and German? Latin was easy I learnt that at the SGC during the time loop thing…but how did you know about the Russian and the German? And I know my heart is safe with you, I trust you Sam, I could never allow anyone else to take care of it, it's been hurt too many times in the past, and I know you wont do that.

Ah yes, F5T-889 have to admit, that is one of my favorite missions. On the outside it looked like a standard meet and greet, but one could never have suspected that they would require us to do…that. Don't blame me though, it was all Daniel…okay, I may have nudged him into it slightly, can you blame me though…I was using my 'Jack' brain and not me 'Commanding Officer' brain. Though you probably got as much enjoyment out of it as I did, don't tell me you didn't enjoy that part, I'd be horrible offended if you didn't enjoy it.

Magical eyes huh? I guess I've got you under my spell. Ohh, a cliché…look what you've done to me Sam.

I umm, I'm going to honest with you here Sam. I have kissed you like that before. You know that time loop thing? You were in the control room, and I walked in and handed General Hammond my resignation and then did that. And…then I was back eating my fruitloops…so now you know why I kept looking at you funny. Looking back, it was a horrible mistake to do it Sam. I couldn't live with myself for a long time afterwards, remembering something that you couldn't…but something that we had shared together, it tore me apart for quite awhile. Teal'c knew…well, I don't think he knew the full story but he knew I had kissed you. He told me to either tell you or to stop dwelling on the past as we have no control over what has already been. I should have told you Sam, looking back, I should have told you. But I didn't want to put you in an awkward position…and I really am sorry for not telling you Sam.

I'd treat you like china Sam, but you'd beat the crap out of me if I did. I know you better than that, you are an incredible, strong willed, strong minded woman, who get's what she wants…eventually.

Okay, granted, if you really didn't want that to happen, you could have kicked my ass, but…I wanted it to be special Sam, not something like what happened.

Ahh, the roses, I'm glad you bought that up. Daniel was indeed a diversionary tactic. Teal'c helped me smuggle the roses in through an escape hatch. Note to self: improve secutiry of escape hatches, far too easy to break into. We managed to do it whilst carrying 4 dozen roses, so you can imagine what two people and 4 dozen grenades could do. I'm glad you liked them, it's really hard to climb down all those ladders without crushing roses.

Oh, it's lunch time, shall we meet in the control room at 1300?

Jack

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**Hope you enjoyed it, and now I'm going to go lay in bed and stare at the ceiling and stress over the essay I have not done. Please review and make my day better.  
**


	8. Loin Cloths and cliches

**Disclaimer: Stargate is not owned by me...if it were...boy oh boy would I have some fun :D**

**Rating: T+ mention of nudity **

**Spoiler: Singularity, Window of Opportunity and Brief Candle.  
**

**I'm not happy with this chapter...it just didn't flow as easily as the others and I don't know why. Anyway, I do hope you guys enjoy it. Oh, and that essay I was stressing over? It's due in on Friday...we had the in class test today. I didn't do so well to be honest, considering I didn't know until I walked into the classroom. **

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Jack,

Maybe one day I will. Thought I'm fairly certain that we would be thrown in the brig for actually doing some of those things.

Note to Jack: if you wear dress blues more often you will find yourself out of your dress more often than not.

Cassie is an adult now Jack. I know you will always think of her as the scared little girl from Hanka. It's time to let go Jack. And yes the hunk-o-meter, on the scale your ringing the bell at the top. Again you seem to forget that I know you. Plus, I saw the books on your coffee table written in Russian and German when I was last at your house, now unless Daniel left them there, but I know that he cannot speak German, so by means of deduction I came to the conclusion that they belonged to you.

I thought we weren't going to mention F5T-889? But I must admit I did rather enjoy it. Granted wearing nothing but those two scraps of material and a skirt weren't exactly the highlight. No the highlight was definitely seeing you guys in loin-cloths…which weren't on for long were they? Did we ever find out what was in that drink? I would have thought after Argos one would have learnt a lesson about accepting food and drink from other cultures.

A cliché Jack? Holy Hannah, Jack O'Neill is using clichés. Send out an alert, call the president, warn the masses!

You kissed me like that in the control room in front of General Hammond. Damn it Jack, what the hell were you thinking? I know the whole 'no consequences' thing. But don't you think I deserved to know? You kissed me…Holy Hannah!. Why did you pick now to tell me? I mean, why didn't you mention it in the 4 years since that mission. Did you pick now because you thought I wouldn't be upset because we are together now? Believe me, I'm angry. But, I can understand why you did it (in the same circumstance I may even have dome something similar) and I can understand why you didn't tell me. However, you are going to have to some mighty fine groveling to make up for it. A more lasting memory of the incident wouldn't hurt…neither would a laptop that more easily integrates with Goa'uld technology, but I think that's stretching it a tad far.

It was special Jack, because it was with you. Don't ever forget that I love you, I've loved you and wanted to be with for a long time now, and it was bound to happen like that. When something simmers for so long, eventually it gets turned up to boiling, and if it boils for long enough it will eventually boil over. And that's just what happened, we've been simmering and boiling for too long and we boiled over. And would you give it up on the 'perfect first time' thing. To me that was perfect, and yes this is my own cliché, we were joined, not only in body, but in mind and spirit, nothing, I repeat, nothing could be more perfect than that.

You managed to get into the SGC with 4 dozen roses without being detected. Holy Hannah Jack that's pretty serious. Who was on duty? And I would love to see the tapes of you and Teal'c sneaking through the halls of the SGC with roses. Perhaps another video for the SGC video night?

And I'll only meet you in the control room at 1300 if you promised to kiss me like you did in that loop. I'd really like to remember at least one of the times. And over lunch we will have to discuss what to do...uhh, get for Teal'c and Daniel.

Sam

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**I know, she forgave him too easily...well, he will have to do some groveling...that too will be discussed over lunch. Hopefully I can get the next chapter typed up tonight. Jack's response to this letter and then we'll skip lunch :P And F59-889 get's another mention in the next chapter...we find out what happens:P **


	9. Leaves and Geeks

**Disclaimer: Stargate not owned by me.**

**Rating: M...mention of...stuff...you'll find out.**

**Spoiler: Emancipation **

**Hope you all enjoy. Also, I've turned off Anonymous reviews. I don't do Dan/Jan ship, except for one fic (which was a mistake!) I just honestly can't see that combination happening...I really truly can't. So please, stop asking.**

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Sam,Should I be worried by the mention of your dreams and the brig in the same sentence? Just what exactly are you dreaming about? 

Note to Sam: And that would be bad because…

I knew I should have left those books lying around. So now you know my little secret, that I'm not quite as dumb as I say I am. Maybe one of these days I should strike up a conversation in Russian with Daniel…that would certainly be an interesting conversation. And I know I have to let go of Cassie…I just don't want too.

No, we never did find out what was in that drink…but boy do I wish that I had my own private stash of it. It was like being drunk and on Viagra at the same time. The loss of inhibition was certainly a first for me…not for you though, remember P3X-595? You also drank something that had a similar effect. And who could forget the look on General Hammonds face when we came back through the 'Gate. Butt naked. Well, unless you count the large leaves we had strategically placed and the mud that we were now caked in when we decided to try out our mud wrestling skills on the way back to the Stargate. Our weapons were gone, well unless you count my sidearm. I don't think I've ever seen General Hammond as shocked as that, or the SF's, thank god we managed to get all the tapes of that before it made if to the SGC video night.

I know Sam. God I know. I've been tortured by that kiss for 4 years. I've regretted it from that day, if I could do that day over I'd never do it. I'm really liking The President this week…he's already approved your brand spanking new laptop, top of the line everything, but knowing you, you will want to tinker with it yourself.

Yeah, I gotta have a serious talk with the security detail, it really was shocking, how on earth could you miss a Jaffa running down a hall with two dozen roses in his arms? And we already got copies of the tapes, we just about split our sides when we realized that we both snuck past a guard, just basically walked straight behind him…considering the roses were wrapped in crinkly paper…shocking.

Oh, it's 1255. Prepare to be dipped in the control room. Prepare to be surrounded by a dozen screaming control room geeks. Prepare for the betting pool to take off. Prepare for the commissary Sam. Got some plans for that as well. It may involve some groveling.

Jack

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**So now you know what happened on ****F59-889. Hope it lived up to the build up I gave it. Anyway, please review!**


	10. A Dinner date

**Disclaimer: Stargate is not owned by me.**

**Rating: M - mentions one of Sam's dreams.**

**Spoilers: Lost City and A hundred days**

**Hope you all enjoy, 3 medium sized letters in one! Please review!**

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Jack, 

Kissing in the control room. Spectacular. Why on earth did we not do this earlier? Poor Walter need had a heart attack. It was a shame McKay had already gone to Area 51, would have loved to see his reaction to that kiss. At least it would get him to stop what he calls flirting. Talk about explosive! I don't think I will ever be able to step into the control room without blushing…or at least grinning.

And I can't believe you did that Jack. Dragging me onto your lap and feeding me my jell-o, now that was a classic! The expressions on everyone's faces was priceless, especially when you sucked a square out of my mouth…I thought you didn't like blue jell-o?

Your groveling was good. And the laptop is incredible! How on earth did you manage to get him to agree to that? Though with a program that costs 7 billion every year a 30k laptop is't going to make much of a dent in the budget.

Also, I was so caught up in eating jell-o at lunch I forgot that I was going to invite you to come to my place for dinner tonight. I've been teaching myself to cook better lately, and it's been going pretty well so far…well I haven't burnt my house down…yet. So would you like to be my guinea pig…err, dinner guest? Dress casual and just bring yourself.

Love,  
Sam

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Sam, 

Damn, should we call McKay back and do an encore presentation? It's awfully tempting…Just a phone call away.

I must say this kiss was a lot better than the loop one, which was interrupted when the loop restarted, at least time I got a bit longer and could enjoy it. And of course, the reaction of every in the control room just made it that little bit better.

What? I've long wanted to try blue jell-o, seemed the best way to do it. Not only did I get to try blue jell-o, but I also got to kiss you in the commissary. What could possibly be better than that? (apart from the control room and storage room 6)

My groveling was good huh? Awesome! And believe me Sam, I'm only going to get better. I think Hayes has a soft spot for us, or maybe he just wants to win that bet he has with General Hammond. I also happen to think that Hammond has been in his ear about the regs, he actually groaned when I mentioned it on the phone and he said yes far too quickly. That makes me believe that he has been thinking on it. Remind me to send Hammond some Scotch as a thank you.

Should I say my good-byes? Wish for everyone to have a happy life then steel myself for my impending death? I'll bring wine…red or white?

Love,  
Jack.

* * *

Jack, 

It is awfully tempting to get him to come back. Really, just a single phone call away? We still need a legit reason to do it, maybe I could make the gate malfunction and then call him in…

It was better than even I could have imagined. It was certainly better than last night, though that is to be expected, we are more in tune with each other, what we like, what we don't like. But as a scientist, we really must run a few more tests on this, that way we can be sure of the results.

And yes the jell-o was a stroke of genius, I don't think we could have shocked them anymore, unless we played out one of my dreams. Which involved the Commissary, blue jell-o squares, and a naked Brigadier General Jack O'Neill eating said jell-o squares off a certain Colonel Carters stomach. That dream was definitely brig worthy.

And I think…wait I know that General Hammond has been on The Presidents case. I know he was after you were frozen, I think he realized how deep my feelings for you were. Though there have been other indicators, like me spending 3 months locked in my lab trying to get you home and after the za'tarc test. (Yes, he knows about those results)

And hush up you, I'm not that bad of a cook. Dinner will be served at 1700. Bring white wine please.

Love,  
Sam

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**Hope you enjoyed it. And yes, the next chapter is written (in my head) I'll write the basics up tonight at Badminton and then type it up when I get home. **


	11. Nigella and a Tok'ra

**Disclaimer: Stargate is owned by MGM, Gecko and...someone else, always forget. But definitely not owned by me**

**Rating: T **

**Spoiler: Divide and Conquer**

**Hope you all enjoy, was going to write Sam's response but I have to go to Uni now, so that will be added when I get home.**

* * *

Sam,

Last night was incredible. When did you learn to cook like that? Because, if you are going to serve up food like that, please allow me to be your guinea pig for all time! One thing I never understood was that on missions you always said that you don't cook. So unless you swapped minds with Nigella Lawson, you've been holding out on us. It was beautiful though, the candles, the flowers, the meal…you. Did I put that in the wrong order? Ah well, you get what I mean.

And what happened to the 'slow down' plan? That got firmly shunted out the door last night, not that I'm complaining or anything, because waking up in your bed, with my arms wrapped around you was a dream come true. Something that I have wanted to happen for a long time, and for a long time never thought it would actually happen. You were at your most beautiful this morning Sam, the way the sunlight splashed in through the window, bathing across you. I watched you sleep, it was…mesmerizing. Sure I've done that on missions, but this was different. I was in your bed, with my arms wrapped around you.

I think T liked his gift, the hat rack was a great idea! He has got a lot of them now hasn't he? Though, I should get him something else as a thanks for the help he gave me in the 'great rose smuggling' incident.

Oh and I just got word from the Tok'ra. Your dad is dropping by later today. Maybe we should talk to him first before he hears the rumours? Coz, if he hears some of them I honestly think he'll have a coronary. And funnily enough none of the rumours come anywhere close to what happened in storage room 6. Apparently no one knows about that, guess they didn't hear when we knocked the shelf over. Hope there weren't any expensive doohickeys on that.

Meet me in the control room (no, no encore today) at 1600? We'll have to divert his attention long enough to get him into my office…though knowing your dad I think he'll figure it out. I think he already knows how I feel about you…Anise probably mentioned the zanex thing.

Jack

* * *

**Hopefully I'll get a chance to write a couple more chapters tonight. Please review. **


	12. Blue JellO

Disclaimer: **Stargate is owned by MGM, Gecko and...someone else, always forget. But definitely not owned by me (one day I'm going to get around to writing a proper one of these)**

**Rating: T+, mention of sex.**

**Spoiler: nothing really...**

**Hope you enjoy, don't forget to review! Oh and I forgot last chapter, thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, you guys make my day, you really do.  
**

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Jack, 

I never said that I couldn't cook, only that I didn't cook, there is a very big difference. Remember that from a young age I was pretty independent, had to cook for myself so my expertise does extend beyond Jell-O and MRE's. And yes you did put that in the wrong order, but I forgive you.

Yeah, the 'slow down' plan failed miserably last night, and I'm not complaining either, though it was a shame that we never got around to eating dessert…well we kind of did…well you did. I didn't get too much jell-o, what with you tipping the bowl over my stomach. Hopefully I can get the blue stains out of the sheets. And yes it was amazing, I don't think I've ever slept that well in my life, and it was being in your arms that did it. Knowing that I was in the arms of the man I love, after we had just had the most…incredible sex of all time.

He does have a lot of hats, doesn't he? And we have to get Daniel something as well, he did do a great job of distracting me whilst you got the roses in. Although what would you give him? He spends his whole life reading and translating ancient texts, what do you get a guy who does that? Maybe a weeks holiday on Abydos? We haven't been back there in ages, and I know he misses Kasuf.

Dad's coming? Holy Hannah, he's going to hit the roof. There are rumours about us? You'll have to share some of them. I don't hear many down here in my lab. And maybe it'd be best if I greeted Dad in the gate room and herded him into my quarters, and we could have our little talk there. It's relatively isolated so no-one will hear him blustering, apart from us. He wont be angry for long Jack, he does want me to be happy his biggest concern will be the age difference, the fact that you have been married before (he may not bring it up, but it will weigh heavily on his mind) and that you are still my commanding officer. He might be a Tok'ra now, but for most of his life he was in the USAF, and still holds the rank of General, it might take a bit to convince him that The President approved the change in regulations. Might have to use that little red phone in your office.

See you at 1600 in my quarters.

Love,  
Sam

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	13. Trickyness and Cake

**Disclaimer: Stargate is owned by MGM, Gecko and...someone else, always forget. But definitely not owned by me**

**Rating: T+**

**Spoiler: nothing really...**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Sam, 

Tricky. Very Tricky. I'll have to show off my culinary expertise soon. You like bacon and eggs on toast right? Coz apart from charred meat and the ability to dial a phone to order take-out that's about as far as it goes.

Since I just had to eat blue jell-o off you, maybe you could repeat the favour by eating red hell-o off me? It seems a fair trade really, I was under extreme duress, hated every minute of it…I'm a terrible liar aren't I?

That's a really good idea, I'll call him now, see when he can go since SG1 is on down-time at the moment anyway. He loves the idea, he's packing already. But I've invited Dan and T over for dinner tonight, get the whole gang together, bring Jacob (once he calms down) we'll order Chinese. Oh, and what about sending Teal'c off to see Ishta, it has been awhile since they saw each other and I know he misses her.

That's probably a better idea, considering what we in the control room yesterday, the techs are still buzzing over that. Definitely a good idea to avoid taking him in there until he knows the full story. God I hope he doesn't hear what we did in the commissary. He would blow a gasket, then kill me. I hope he isn't angry Sam. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and all I want is to make you happy. And I hope we can explain that to him. I know I'm older than, and I know that worried (okay, terrified) me, but when I realized that it didn't worry you, it really shouldn't worry me. I know that I've been married before, and I know I…fucked that up completely. But Jack O'Neill learns from his mistakes, and I don't intend of ever letting you go Sam. After Charlie died, I shut myself away, locked everything up in a little room. And then you walked into that briefing room and picked the lock, and systematically pulled everything out of that room. I don't intend on making a mistake Sam, and if I ever do I give Jacob permission to kick my butt. I know I am still technically your commanding officer, but as my 2IC you have the same power as me, and you report directly to Area 51 for the Science stuff, and you can contact any of my superior officers if you do have a problem with anything I do.

Alright, 1600 hours it is. I'll bring cake. Was going to bring jell-o...but thought better of it, considering what we did last night.

Jack.

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	14. Instant Messenger

**Disclaimer: Stargate is not owned by me. I wish it were, but it ain't.**

**Rating: T**

**Spoiler: None**

**Okay, this is in a slightly diferent format to the previous chapters. Apart from the first letter, the rest have been emails, so that's where this chapter fits in. Hope you all enjoy my stab at humour. **

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O'Nell.J: Hey! 

Carter.S: I see you found the internal instant messenger system.

O'Nell.J: Yeah, how long have we had this on the computers?

Carter.S: About 4 years.

O'Nell.J: Really?

Carter.S: Yep, I installed it myself, it's easier sometimes when your trying to make it look you are doing work.

O'Nell.J: Cool! Coz, you know, it's really hard to make it look your like your working when you are shouting at the screen 'you sunk my battleship!'.

Carter.S: So that rumour IS true then?

O'Nell.J: Yep. Walter heard it, then started it.

O'Nell.J: Sam? You ever thought of what we could do with this?

Carter.S: Everything is logged

O'Nell.J: And who can view it?

Carter.S: You and me…and everyone with clearance above you.

O'Nell.J: So…

Carter.S: Is that all you ever think about?

O'Nell.J: Lately…yes.

Carter.S:Typical male.

O'Nell.J: Carter…

Carter.S: Totally innocent, my fingers slipped on the keyboard

O'Nell.J: Thank God this is logged,

Carter.S: Why?

O'Nell.J: Now we have proof that Sam Carter makes mistakes.

Carter.S: Oh shut up.

O'Nell.J: Does my name have to be O'Neill.J?

Carter.S: Yes.

O'Nell.J: Why?

Carter.S: That's the way the programming works.

O'Nell.J: But you programmed it.

Carter.S: I know. That's why I know that's the way it works.

O'Nell.J: So, if you are the person who programmed it, can't you change it to something more interesting?

Carter.S: Maybe.

O'Nell.J: Do I have to bribe you Colonel?

Carter.S: You called me Colonel.

O'Nell.J: Yep.

Carter.S: You haven't done that since we got together.

O'Nell.J: I know

Carter.S: Fine. I'll change your name.

Stud.J.T: J.T?

Carter.S: Jack the…

Stud.J.T: I thought these were being logged?

Carter.S: I can fix that.

Stud.J.T: Have I told you that I love you recently?

Carter.S: Last night…and this morning.

Stud.J.T: Just living up to my name

---Jackson.D has entered the conversation

Jackson.D: Hey!

Carter.S: Hey Daniel.

SStud.J.T: Uhh…Sam?

Carter.S: I thought you wanted a new name?

Stud.J.T: I did…

Jackson.D: Did I miss something here?...is that you Jack?

Stud.J.T: Yes, Daniel, this is Jack.

Jackson.D: Oh…

Carter.S: It's fine, I'll change it.

Stud.J.T: Good!

Cuddler.J.T: Sam this is no better!

Jackson.D: Thanks Sam, you just made me spit coffee over a piece of paper that is 2000 years old…ah well, it wasn't saying much anyway.

GrumpyBear.J.T: Colonel…

Carter.S: What?

GrumpyBear.J.T: …

Carter.S: Fine.

Spoil.Sport.J.T: You're having fun with this aren't you?

Carter.S: Yep.

---Teal'c has entered the conversation

Pouter.J.T : How come he get's his full name.

Jackson.D: He's like Cher…or Madonna

Teal'c: DanielJackon, Colonel Carter and O'Neill, I hope you are all well.

Pouter.J.T : T, buddy, do you have to use our full names in chat?

Teal'c: It is a sign of respect O'Neill

Jackson.D: You honestly think we can get him to stop saying that after 8 years of asking Jack?

Pouter.J.T : I was hopeful.

Jackson.D: I've got to go, I just realized what this word meant, it changes everything on the tablet I've been translating.

---Jackson.D has left the chat

Hunk.J.T: SAM!

Carter.S: What?

Teal'c: what is Hunk?

Hunk.J.T: Don't worry about it T, Sam will be changing it in a sec right?

Carter.S: Of course.

TeddyBear.J.T: I give up. Hey T, Sam and I wanted to thank you for helping us with everything, and would you like to go visit Ishta for a week?

Teal'c: Indeed I would O'Neill.

TeddyBear.J.T: That's settled then, you ship out tomorrow after Daniel goes to Abydos.

Teal'c: Thank you O'Neill. I must depart now as I have a training session scheduled with SG-19.

---Teal'c has left the conversation

Sexy.J.I: J.I?

Carter.S: Jack is

Sexy.J.I : I'm sexy?

Carter.S: Hell yeah!

Sexy.J.I : SG-19?

Carter.S: Yep. The Scientists. They wanted to know some defense techniques.

Sexy.J.I : God, I better warn the infirmary.

Carter.S: Nearly 1600 hours Jack.

Sexy.J.I: I know.

Carter.S: Scared?

Sexy.J.I: No.

Carter.S: Liar.

Liar.J.T : HEY!

Carter.S: What?

J.loves.S: That's better.

S. loves. J: I know.

J.loves.S: it's true too.

S.loves.J: I know that too.

J.loves.S: It's 1595 Sam

S.loves.J: I know.

J.loves.S: Do you know everything?

S.loves.J : Yes. I'll be right there. Love you...you did remember cake right?

J.loves.S: I did...it was nice.

S.loves.J: You ate it?

Cake.Hog: It was nice!

S.loves.J: Your hopeless.

Cake.Hog: I'll get more.

S.loves.J: You better! Dan and T still coming over tonight?

Cake.Hog: Yep, we'll drop by the grocery store on the way home, we need refreshments.

S.loves.J: And Diet Soda!...damn, now I'm running late. 

Cake.Hog: love you too Sam.

---S.loves.J has left the conversation

---Cake.Hog has left the conversation

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**Hope you all liked it. I've got one more stupid chapter like this in the works...but that will just be whacked in somewhere...I'll go back into the soppy romantical letters soon. **


End file.
